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'I’m the master of
low expectations.'
- George W Bush,
aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 -
Before becoming president, George Walker Bush
hadn’t done a lot of travelling. Once elected - with
fewer votes than his opponent - he still mistook
Slovakia for Slovenia, thought the inhabitants of Greece
were called Greekians and didn’t know the name of
Pakistan’s Prime Minister. And to him Bin Laden
was probably an East German car brand. Nevertheless, as
months went by, he made a lot of progress in
geopolitics, realising for instance that the Afghan
mountains were packed with people like him, therefore he
wasn’t the only religious fundamentalist on Earth. Of
course, after eight years in power, he still has trouble
distinguishing a Shiite from a Sunni, a Kurd or even a
European. However, what he does now know is that on the
other side of the Atlantic Ocean, on the right hand side
of Britain, lies an Old Continent, full of
pacifist beatniks who speak several languages and who
have all abolished the death penalty. In other words:
true savages. He can still hardly tell the difference
between a nice little morning breeze and a devastating
hurricane and doesn’t know what a weapon of mass
destruction really looks like, but he’s eager to
fill the gaps in his general knowledge during his third
term. What?? He can’t run for a third term?? What a
pity...

Extracts
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